I've been back in the US for three weeks now. Returning from India to anywhere in the United States would probably hit anyone pretty hard. Such stark differences in smell, sound, and culture would send anyone's mind into a fog, whether they were returning to New York City or Peoria, Illinois.
Coming back to San Francisco though is such a stark contrast. As a friend recently told me, "You live in a fairy tale". Indeed I thought back on that description many times when I was in the subcontinent. In a way India is also a bit of a wild and raw sort of place. The extreme number of Hindu holidays, the beautiful colors of the textiles and garments, and of course the stark terrain serve to make it, at least on the surface like a trip to Oz. Yet, when you actually live day to day in India, one realizes how constraining the culture really is. The men hang out with the men, the women hang out with other women. Many marry early without spending nearly enough time with their betrothed. Sodomy is illegal and sexism is rampant. Sure enough, much of this is changing, but it is present still nevertheless.
While I was in India, all of these elements made me feel constrained and constantly on edge. I realized that I need tolerance and cultures that see gray areas. Would I feel the same way if I was on a sojourn to some of the more socially conservative parts of my own country? Of course, and I have. It's all a social process, and India is making significant progress. Its leaders know that greater tolerance is to their economic advantage. Still they aren't there yet and it will take a long time. India is one of the most diverse and confusing societies I have ever attempted to understand. It will take some time.
Ok, so back to my return to my wonderful fairy tale city. San Francisco also has many festivals, beautiful colors, and was built on perhaps the most beautiful terrain in the United States. The difference is at these festivals, colors, and terrain are enjoyed by such a variety of subcultures and informal groupings that I could never hope to be able to name them all. This is what I love. The groupings are not a hundred years old or even fifty years old in most instances. The power of the individual and the ad hoc relationship is so much stronger here, so much more acceptable. Perhaps this is more the result of being on the Western edge of a country that so values the power of the individual, I don't know. The important thing to me is that it is where I feel most at home, and I missed it.
